Im going to skip forward – past the simultaneous tears of joy and anxiety to the present (I will jump back and forth). Here I am sitting here with the most wonderful, beautiful burden – of only ten months old. She can stand, she can crawl, clap and even bend us around her little finger ALREADY! She is expensive as hell- I’ve spent copious amounts of money on all sorts of contraptions and I’ve set my career back by at least five years but it’s all honestly been 100% worth it. Our niche dream will have to wait and indeed my NQT year.
When I found out I was pregnant I planned to suspend my PGCE and then go back as quickly as I could so that I could finish my last term and then do my NQT year. I’ll be real with you; having my daughter has made me re-prioritise. People will tell you that having a baby either makes you wasn’t to work more or makes you want to spend ALL your time with your new addition . I was the latter. I spent months of my maternity leave racked with guilt and dread over finishing my course and then doing my induction year. I had to really sit down and think about what I wanted – not what I was told I’d want.
I fretted that some sort of ‘career angel’ was going to float down the ladder and start screaming obscenities at me because I’d chosen to put my career on hold. And that was okay. If I have one piece of advice to give it would be to listen to your heart (however cringey it sounds). No disrespect to the feminist movement but there seems to be an assumption that women HAVE to work and put their careers first and that you’re LESS than if you’re a stay at home mum which is so untrue. All I’m saying is Im choosing to pause my career so that I can spend time with my daughter- but there is no right or wrong thing to do, it’s down to you. I’m not rich or anything and that doesn’t mean I won’t have to get bits of work but it means that I’m putting my daughter FIRST. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to want to go to work nor should you feel ashamed to not work. Children are hard work…Just do you!