Thank you, next

Thank you, next

A complete guide to friends post-baby

You think you have it all figured out, at least in the friend department. That’s until you tell your friends that you’re pregnant. Of course there are friends for life which will stick to you like glue through thick and thin but pregnancy and life with a baby will really separate the snakes from the grass. Or indeed the snowflakes from the slush. Here is a comprehensive guide to what you might encounter with some of your friends post-baby/pregnancy

1. Your friends are overwhelmed by your responsibility

This is a tough one but you will find that some people whatever your age are completely freaked out by your new found responsibility. This can be pretty hurtful but some people are just not going to grow up anytime soon and want to live like teenagers sneaking in Malibu to a party. They will either come round or they won’t. They clearly aren’t a true friend either way.

2. Your friends are jealous of you.

I have heard from other women, on more than one occasion and have experienced this happening; people are jealous by how much they believe you’ve got your s*** together. Even if you haven’t. I especially found this after my daughter was born. This sort of resentment isn’t going to be constructive in a friendship. A bit of jealousy is natural but if they’re literally green with envy then just move on. You don’t need them Hun.

3. You’re like a cute penguin waddling everywhere and friends are aplenty.

I made loads of ‘friends’ when I was pregnant. Obviously some of them were genuine people but there were others who see you as the token pregnant person or like some cute, eccentric Juno character (minus the teen pregnancy). They want to feel your bump and want to use you as some sort of practice for their potential future moment.

4. You have given birth to the Messiah. Friends come out of the woodwork

As soon as your baby is born and thereafter, everything spins out of your control and you are a vessel who has just given birth to the Messiah. People want to meet ‘the baby’ but there isn’t much mention of you at all. Infact you’re just not in the equation. It can be endearing at first but after a while they’re not kidding anyone. Chances are, if the last time you spoke to them was a decade a go they’re not in this for you. Entertain them if you wasn’t to but your baby isn’t some show thing and you can do without them to be honest.

5. You genuinely reconnect with some pretty genuine people

This is a nice one. You genuinely reconnect with people that you might have lost touch with in all the insanity that is pregnancy. These people want to meet baby but they’re in it for you.

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