A brief tale of anxiety and how it can creep up on you when you’re not watching
I have always been a bit of a worrier. In year three I freaked out because I snuck my smelly gel pens into the classroom by secretly depositing them into my fake Burberry pencil case. I remembered thinking the police would come for me. I clearly had no clue when it came to the Policing cuts.
During pregnancy, my old friend anxiety came to visit me and came to permanently stay when my daughter was born. See babies can seriously mess with your anxiety, as much as they mess around with your finances and white linen. The NHS’s constant harking on about tragic SIDS had me shackled with fear, however necessary the campaign was. Then came the fear of germs, post- vaccination complications, chickenpox and all that- then comes all the finance Lark. Suddenly, you find yourself going from 0 to 100 real quick worrying about world peace and if Aliens really exist or if the Dinosaurs are going to make a comeback and wipe all of us out. It starts off as a subtle nag and then becomes as concerning to you as if you’ve left your front door open. Another big worry, of course- where are your keys?
Now you are a worrier warrior, king of all worries far and wide. You are also a nervous wreck. Where do you go from here? Do you listen to that little naggy voice and wrap your family in cling film and keep them in quarantine from the outside world? Build an anti-asteroid bunker in your basement? Or do you rip off a huge metaphorical black bag and stuff in as many worries as you can and chuck it outside your front door for someone else to care about. I’d suggest the latter.
On a serious note anxiety can be debilitating and can creep up on you when you’re at your most vulnerable. You need to know when to draw the line with it and tell it to go sling it’s hook. Like a lingering guest who has massively outstayed their welcome. It all starts with letting go. Not all at once, but step by step. Take your baby to that playgroup- chickenpox could come at anytime, start giving your baby a bigger chunk of food- you know they can handle it by now.
I’m taking a leaf out of my own book. I will stop worrying about things that are beyond my control. I can’t control everything and if a tree is going to come down on my flat there is really nothing that I can do to stop that. Life is too short for dowsing yourself in hand gel. Plus who wants to look back and remember that.