It is now that time. Ten or so years ago you would be reeling. But now the dog days are over and it is the end of a long and incredibly hot summer.
Baby and Toddler groups are back on and holiday is now a thing of the past. ‘Life’ with a toddler begins again after a long and barren period of nothingness… But what now?
You are tired and weary- you’ve had numerous hits to your routines, little personal space and limited time on your own together as a family. You might’ve swapped your summer dress for a pair of cool trousers but you look anything but rested. Those bags under your eyes are shouting out for some concealer TLC and probably time away from Mr Tumble.
Its now time to think about going forward. You know what has worked for you and what hasn’t; staying anywhere for large periods of time is a no no. Staying at home alot can make you feel cut off from the rest of civilisation. It’s time to make a few changes:
1. Cut yourself some goddamn slack
It’s so easy to lay into yourself. It’s also so bloody easy to look at others- other mums, other women and think about how much more successful they are, how much skinnier they are, more patient.. whatever. There’s always going to be people doing more than you and those doing way less: fact. Being kind to yourself is HARD- but just like your kids, you need love too. Time for a sassy quote from Ru Paul: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else”. True talk, Ru.
2. Set time aside for your goals
Whatever you want to do, set time aside for it. I know for a fact that doing freelance writing work in the middle of the day while my daughter is more interested in the backspace button than anything else is not a great time. Plan a proper time and stick to it like gorilla glue.
3. Think about your relationship
As it’s easy to forget about yourself, it’s also too easy to see your partner as ‘daddy’ to your child and forget about your relationship. Before you know it, you will be putting each other in the friend zone. ‘Thrown’ together through circumstance- like in a naff sitcom. Except believe it or not you actually chose eachother. For god’s sake make an effort. Partners are like plants: if you don’t give them water, good sun intake and a bit of love then they will probably turn away from you. Your plant may also die.
4. Remember that everyday is completely different
So yesterday you were crying into your pillow and today you are singing starships into your TV remote while your child is running around in circles. No you are not bat****, you’re a parent. In fact every hour is different. Go with it or be prepared to be on mood stabilisers by the end of the month.
5. Do what’s right for you and your family
You’ve got nothing to prove to anyone out there other than to yourself and your family. They are the people that you are going to have to come back to at the end of the day, after all. If you want to stay in eating cake all day in yor PJs then do it. If you want to go back to work or change your hours then do that too. There is nothing wrong with making a bold decision. At the risk of sounding like a crap rapper (crapper) the haters are going to keep hating any way.